{"id":978,"date":"2012-08-26T18:41:59","date_gmt":"2012-08-26T17:41:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/up\/wordpress\/2012\/08\/26\/5-tips-for-a-happy-marriage\/"},"modified":"2022-10-30T11:16:27","modified_gmt":"2022-10-30T11:16:27","slug":"5-tips-for-a-happy-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/5-tips-for-a-happy-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Tips for a Happy Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I know a lot of people say marriage requires a lot of work, but\u2028 I\u2019m not one of them.  Maintenance, maybe, but \u201cwork\u201d makes \u2028it sound like an endless stream of constant drudgery, when in fact\u2028 research suggests that a solid marriage is actually only 5% drudgery\u2028 and 80% awesomeness, with a 15% margin of error to allow for how I \u2028feel about it when I\u2019m PMSing.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, as a long-awaited public service, I\u2019ve collected my top\u2028 Maintenance Tips For A Happy Marriage.  Follow these five guidelines,\u2028and chances are at least 50\/50 (or some other fraction) that your \u2028relationship will never require any of that pesky \u201cwork.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

1. Marry the right person<\/span><\/span>
This seems like a no-brainer, but it\u2019s astonishing how many people \u2028skip this step.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Communication<\/span><\/span>
It\u2019s all too easy to lose touch with our loved ones, especially if \u2028they\u2019re not on Twitter for some reason or if the kids are making so\u2028much noise you can\u2019t hear yourself think.  If you\u2019re feeling distant\u2028 from your spouse, even after checking their latest Facebook status\u2028 updates, I encourage you to address the issue right away.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, my husband and I were sitting on the couch one day, \u2028each silently absorbed in our Smart Phone screens.  Suddenly my phone\u2028 beeped, letting me know he\u2019d added a photo to Facebook, which was\u2028 news to me even though he was only about two inches from my hip.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me: I don\u2019t like it very much that my phone knows more\u2028about you than I do.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Gerry: Like what? What does your phone know?<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Me: It knows\u2026 what you\u2019re doing on your <\/em>phone.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Then he laughed at me.  But the important thing was that I let him\u2028 know I felt we were drifting apart, and, if someone happened to be \u2028watching through the window, it would have appeared that we were \u2028engaged in a pleasant conversation.  That\u2019s half the battle.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Body Language and Thoughtful Gestures<\/span><\/span>
On the subject of communication, let\u2019s face it \u2013 sometimes it can\u2028be easy to get your feelings hurt if you listen to the actual words\u2028 that someone says.  Or you might go through a dry spell where it seems \u2028like ages since your spouse last paid you a compliment.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

At these times, remember that the love in your relationship is\u2028 often unspoken.  When he comes home with four gallons of ice cream, \u2028it\u2019s his way of saying, \u201cBaby, I think those extra 20 pounds are\u2028 super sexy \u2013 don\u2019t you change a thing.\u201d  When he plops down on \u2028the couch and unceremoniously changes the channel from HGTV to ESPN,\u2028 he\u2019s saying, \u201cHoney, you don\u2019t need these decorating tips \u2013 the\u2028 house looks great!\u201d  And when she subsequently cuts him the side\u2028eyes and leaves the room in an apparent huff, what she\u2019s really \u2028thinking is, \u201cThat\u2019s okay, dearest, I\u2019ll use this bit of free \u2028time to eat some ice cream. And then I\u2019ll help you combine your \u2028passions for athletics and recycled mulch by tossing all your sports\u2028 equipment in the chipper shredder.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you look for it, the love is there.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Say Thank You<\/span><\/span>
Also, look for reasons to be grateful for your spouse, and make\u2028 sure to let them know they\u2019re appreciated.  This makes them feel good, \u2028and inspires them to do more of the things you appreciate, which\u2028 creates a self-perpetuating cycle of positive vibes.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If your spouse isn\u2019t doing anything particularly noteworthy, you \u2028might have to dig for things to be grateful for at first.  Try these\u2028words of praise to get started:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

  • \n
    Thanks a lot for mouth-breathing\u2028 less than usual.<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/li>
  • \n
    It\u2019s impressive how high you can\u2028 get the trash to pile up without toppling before you take it\u2028 outside.<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/li>
  • \n
    Your efforts to get your filthy\u2028 clothes within a five-foot radius of the hamper make doing your\u2028 laundry a real treat.<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/li>
  • I appreciate how you only belched audibly twice while we were\u2028 out to dinner with my parents.<\/strong><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    With encouragement like this, it won\u2019t take your spouse long to\u2028 get an idea of how much you cherish his or her contribution to the\u2028partnership.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    5. Hygiene<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Sadly, it\u2019s common for people to let themselves go after the \u2028wedding vows are wrapped up, especially once children enter the\u2028equation.  I urge you to avoid this if at all possible \u2013 being married \u2028doesn\u2019t give you a free pass to become utterly repulsive.  Refrain\u2028from clipping your toenails on the couch.  Take the time to spritz on \u2028some body spray when you hit day four of being too exhausted to take \u2028a shower.  Shaving is a nice touch \u2013 try not to leave the entire \u2028bathroom peppered with your stubble.  The extra effort will go a long \u2028way toward keeping the spark in your marriage alive, or should at\u2028 least reduce your spouse\u2019s urge to smother you in your sleep.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    If you can manage to keep all five of these tips in mind, or at <\/strong>least one or two of them if you\u2019re on an long car trip with the <\/strong>children or you\u2019re working on a home improvement project together<\/strong> (nobody expects you to be a saint), you have an excellent chance* of <\/strong>still liking each other by the time the kids move out and you<\/strong> eventually get to spend time as a couple again.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I know a lot of people say marriage requires a lot of work, but\u2028 I\u2019m…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":977,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[54,12,2478],"tags":[414,69,115,514,134,74],"class_list":["post-978","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family","category-husband","category-top-article-family-and-home","tag-414","tag-a","tag-for","tag-happy","tag-marriage","tag-tips"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/978","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=978"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/978\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2921,"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/978\/revisions\/2921"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/977"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=978"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=978"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=978"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}