{"id":854,"date":"2012-04-07T13:28:22","date_gmt":"2012-04-07T12:28:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/up\/wordpress\/2012\/04\/07\/how-to-be-liar-hunter\/"},"modified":"2022-10-29T12:53:45","modified_gmt":"2022-10-29T11:53:45","slug":"how-to-be-liar-hunter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/how-to-be-liar-hunter\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Be Liar Hunter"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left\"><strong>The signs are crystal clear \u2014 72% of people can spot a fib immediately (not really, I just made that up)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Can you tell when someone is not telling the truth? Maybe you don\u2019t think it\u2019s a necessary skill to have \u2014 your family, friends and colleagues are trustworthy, right? Consider then, these results from a recent study:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong> Most people tell two significant lies a day.<\/strong><\/li><li><strong> A third of conversations involve some form of deception.<\/strong><\/li><li><strong> More than 80 per cent of people have lied to secure a job. <\/strong><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>According to [German philosopher] Nietzsche, \u2018the lie is a condition of life\u2019. Pamela Meyer, a certified fraud examiner and author of Liespotting: Proven Techniques to Detect Deception, claims that we hear 20\u2013200 lies per day. She must work in politics, you say. Not so. \u201cLiespotting is what I call the critical modern skill you need to take back the truth in a world cluttered with spam, fake digital friends, doctored r\u00e9sum\u00e9s, massaged numbers, partisan media, ingenious identity thieves and world-class Ponzi schemers. You need it because sophisticated modern technology and the instant nature of contemporary communications have multiplied the opportunities for lying and deception to the point where it is now an epidemic.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">TELL ME SWEET LITTLE LIES<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Some lies are no more than a social lubricant \u2014 designed to smooth day-to-day interactions. You know the type: \u2018Your bum does NOT look big in those jeans\u2019, \u2018I don\u2019t think that haircut makes you look like Justin Bieber\u2019 or the ever-popular \u2018Of course I don\u2019t mind\u2019. But when it comes to business, politics and romance, it\u2019s best to know the truth.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">LIAR, LIAR<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Unfortunately, spotting a lie is not as simple as looking out for a flaming pair of pants or a telltale Pinocchio nose. And, contrary to popular belief, the \u2018classic signs\u2019 (avoiding eye contact, sweating or nervous fidgeting) are not foolproof indicators.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The other problem is that we rarely find out that we\u2019ve been lied to right away, so we can\u2019t usually recall whether the person displayed \u2018tells\u2019 at the time.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">FOOL ME ONCE\u2026<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The best defence is to learn who tends to lie and why. Research has shown that extroverted, confident people are more likely to lie (and be skilled at it) than introverts, those in a position of power are more prone to lying, and we generally feel more at ease lying to someone we see as being deceptive themselves.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Some types of relationships (such as those between parents and teens) are also more prone to being deceptive. Psychologist Bella DePaulo found that college students lie to their mothers in one out of two conversations.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Lies are usually either offensive or defensive. Offensive lies are all about obtaining something (perhaps bribing someone to clinch a deal), creating a positive impression (embellishing on a funny story or lying about your achievements). Defensive lying is about avoiding punishment or embarrassment, or protecting someone \u2014 one of the main reasons women lie.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong><span style=\"color: #333399;\">HERE ARE SOME GENERAL TIPS ON SPOTTING A LIE:<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Body language<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Traditional wisdom says a liar will avoid eye contact or look away. But a skilled liar makes direct eye contact to appear authentic \u2014 magicians, for instance. In a normal, honest conversation, we onaly make eye contact 60 per cent of the time, says Meyer. If someone is staring you down or checking your face to see how you\u2019re responding to what they\u2019re saying, beware. \u201cThey try to read you to see if you\u2019re buying their story,\u201d says psychology professor R Edward Geiselman, who has taught investigative interviewing techniques to detectives and FBI intelligence officers. Other non-verbal clues include: freezing of the upper body, rise in vocal pitch\/change in speech pattern, dilated pupils and post-interview relief; a sigh, a smile or change in posture.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Pause and repeat<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>When forced to make up a story on the spot, the person will often repeat the question to buy time, or pause to collect their thoughts. If they had time to rehearse a response, the answer might be almost too perfect, delivered without hesitation. Police officers often ask suspects to repeat their stories, and listen for inconsistencies. A lie is usually less detailed \u2014 after all, the less you say, the less chance there is of it coming back to haunt you.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Word for word<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Some experts, however, claim that the real clues lie in the words people use. Psychology professor James Pennebaker highlights two primary markers:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Fewer first-person pronouns and references to themselves \u2014 Liars often distance themselves psychologically from the lie by avoiding words indicating involvement, such as \u2018I\u2019, \u2018me\u2019, \u2018my\u2019.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>More negative emotion words \u2014 Pennebaker says liars are generally more anxious and often feel guilty. They use fewer exclusionary words, such as \u2018except\u2019, \u2018but\u2019 or \u2018nor\u2019 \u2014 words that separate what they did do from what they didn\u2019t do.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>You could be the most accomplished fibber and lying through your teeth but you better hope Dr Cal Lightman is nowhere around \u2014 because the star of the Fox TV-produced Lie to Me series (brilliantly played by Tim Roth) isn\u2019t a walking, talking polygraph tester. He\u2019s far, far more \u2014 and unnervingly so.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>When Lie to Me first came out in 2009, the show wasn\u2019t really breaking new ground in terms of TV genres but critics soon found they couldn\u2019t write it off as \u201cjust another police procedural\u201d either. For those with a natural curiosity for seeing through people or reading between the lines, it was \u201csay no more\u201d.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>In the series (that ran just three seasons before being cancelled in May last year), Dr Lightman is called upon by local and federal intelligence agencies to assist them on cases \u2014 involving everything from copycat serial killers on the loose to runaway spouses \u2014 with his deception detection skills.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>His character is based on the real-life scientific studies of Dr Paul Ekman, a psychologist and body language expert at the University of California, San Francisco.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Lightman\u2019s specialisation lies in microexpressions \u2014 those that flash across your face for just a second before you can arrange it right to pretend you\u2019re telling the truth. And in order to read those expressions, he uses all sorts of aggressive and confrontational interviewing tactics to break one\u2019s poker face \u2014 or as he puts it to his \u201clippy\u201d teenage daughter, Emily: \u201cI shake people up until they lose control and forget to hide their emotions. NOT the same as bullying at all.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Together with the nurturing Dr Gillian Foster (Kelli Williams), the academically trained Eli Loker (Brendan Hines) aka Mr Radical Honesty and the human lie detector Ria Torres (Monica Raymund), whose childhood abuse made her a \u201cnatural\u201d at detecting deception \u2014 the Lightman team made a formidable foursome.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Some of their best work features in hi-adrenaline episodes such as \u2018Blinded\u2019 that sees Lightman go up against a serial rapist\/ killer who may be directing one very sick fan from behind his prison walls to carry out crimes in his trademark acid attack style \u2014 the climax comes out of nowhere to hit you for a six \u2014 and \u2018The Core of It\u2019, in which Lightman has to get at the \u2018core\u2019 of a woman with dissociative personality disorder to demystify her vision of a murder that the cops won\u2019t take seriously.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The show is a fascinating study into the human psyche \u2014 and the lengths some of us will go to keep the truth from ever being told. So, the next time someone answers too quickly, makes too much eye contact, licks their lips or touches their hair when explaining themselves to you \u2014 take note. There\u2019s a science to it all.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Are you a bigger liar than you thought?<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Everyone lies \u2014 and anyone who spins you varying versions of the I-don\u2019t-lie or have-never-lied shpeel is possibly the biggest storyteller of them all. Studies show that the average person lies up to 2-3 times a day \u2014 that\u2019s more than 1,000 times a year! \u2014 and that men tend to have a more liberal relationship with what they consider \u2018telling the truth\u2019 than women are. Here\u2019s a quick quiz to find out how masterful you are when it comes to spinning the webs of deceit.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">1. &nbsp;If your mum stumbles upon a pack of cigarettes (or other sure-to-shock object) while cleaning out your desk drawer, would you:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>a.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Say it is your friend\u2019s (\u201cI\u2019ve \u201cNO idea how it got there!\u201d)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>b.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Distract her with the sparrow practising suicide jumps outside the window<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>c.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Sit her down for a \u2018talk\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">2. &nbsp;When someone you promised to call (but didn\u2019t) finally catches hold of you, would you:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>a.&nbsp;&nbsp; Insist you\u2019ve been trying forever but couldn\u2019t get through<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>b.&nbsp;&nbsp; Say there was no signal \u2014 all of the UAE\u2019s power lines were down<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>c.&nbsp;&nbsp; Smack your forehead and apologise profusely because you forgot<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">3. When someone gifts you a horrid shirt you\u2019d sooner wipe the floor with, would you:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>a.&nbsp;&nbsp; Place hand over heart and gush all over the \u201cthoughtful\u201d present as you pretend not to cry<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>b.&nbsp;&nbsp; Attempt to make the gifter try it on instead because it sets off his\/her eyes<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>c.&nbsp;&nbsp; Launch into a speech about how it\u2019s the thought that counts<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">4. When you\u2019re mad at someone and they ask you what\u2019s wrong, would you:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>a.&nbsp;&nbsp; Slam doors and cupboards before snapping: \u201cPissed off? With you? Of course not, I\u2019m perfectly fine.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>b.&nbsp;&nbsp; Ask him\/her to pass the salt<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>c.&nbsp;&nbsp; Sing OneRepublic\u2019s \u2018It\u2019s too late to apologise\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">5. When your boss asks why you were late to work, would you:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>a.&nbsp;&nbsp; Invent a traffic jam involving an eight-car pile-up, rubber-burning ambulances and a helicopter that landed on the road right in front \u2028of you<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>b.&nbsp;&nbsp; Compliment your boss\u2019s new tie\/ hairdo<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>c.&nbsp;&nbsp; Swear the late Saturday night party won\u2019t happen again<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">6. &nbsp;When someone with a reputation for borrowing (and not returning) calls you up for a \u2018favour\u2019, would you:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>a.&nbsp;&nbsp; Apologise that you don\u2019t have the amount on you now but would be glad to let him\/her have it \u201cnext week\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>b.&nbsp;&nbsp; Tell him\/her you\u2019re camping out at the office these days and probably won\u2019t be free to meet for another seven months<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>c.&nbsp;&nbsp; Ask if you look like his\/her bank manager<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">7. &nbsp;When people you don\u2019t fancy ask you for your number, would you:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>a.&nbsp;&nbsp; Give them the number of the \u2028local zoo<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>b.&nbsp;&nbsp; Discreetly whisper they have something stuck in their teeth<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>c.&nbsp;&nbsp; Inform them you\u2019re changing numbers shortly but the world is round so you\u2019re sure to bump into each other again<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">8. &nbsp;When the niece of a friend of a cousin asks you for help finding a job, would you:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>a.&nbsp;&nbsp; Assure her you\u2019ll do your very best (\u201cDon\u2019t call me, I\u2019ll call you\u201d)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>b.&nbsp;&nbsp; Say your computer shuts down every time you try to open her resume<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>c.&nbsp;&nbsp; Blame it on the industry (\u201cOnly firing, no hiring right now\u201d)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">9.&nbsp;&nbsp; When you\u2019re asked how the poorly cooked dish at your partner\u2019s favourite restaurant is, \u2028would you:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>a.&nbsp;&nbsp; Make vague appreciative noises with a mouth full of food you can\u2019t bear to swallow<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>b.&nbsp;&nbsp; Shoot out of your chair without warning and attempt the Heimlich manoeuvre on the nearest waiter<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>c.&nbsp;&nbsp; Promise you\u2019ll never complain about her cooking again<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">10. When your spouse or significant other asks you if she looks fat in that dress (and you think she does), do you:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>a.&nbsp;&nbsp; Scoff and say: \u201cBody like that ought to be insured, babe\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>b.&nbsp;&nbsp; Pretend you can\u2019t hear or (better still) are having a coronary<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>c.&nbsp;&nbsp; Man up and call a spade a spade (at the risk of being hit with one)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #000080;\">LIE-O-METER<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong> If you score mostly As, you\u2019re what we call a White Liar. To most people, these are the \u2018good\u2019 lies \u2014 the perfectly justifiable kind \u2014 used only to smooth things over, spare someone\u2019s feelings or avoid getting into trouble. Just be careful that while you\u2019re playing Mr Nice Guy, one white lie doesn\u2019t lead to another and another, and you go down in the books as a shameless deceiver for fibs that aren\u2019t so white anymore.<\/strong><\/li><li><strong> If you score mostly Bs, you\u2019ll probably find your name in the dictionary next to Escapist. Constantly in flight mode, you\u2019ll do anything to catch the first plane out rather than choose between truth or lie. Perhaps you should start rehearsing appropriate responses in advance because you can run but you can\u2019t always hide.<\/strong><\/li><li><strong> If you score mostly Cs, well, aren\u2019t you one for living on the Wild Side. With a penchant for telling the truth, you may not always find honesty to be the best policy (socially). But on the brighter side, someone did once promise it will set you free. Stand your ground \u2014 and watch out for any unidentified flying objects while you\u2019re at it as well.<\/strong><\/li><\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The signs are crystal clear \u2014 72% of people can spot a fib immediately (not&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":853,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[53,10],"tags":[287,65,941,940,66],"class_list":["post-854","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-healthy","category-sycohealth","tag-be","tag-how","tag-hunter","tag-liar","tag-to"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/854","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=854"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/854\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2850,"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/854\/revisions\/2850"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/853"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=854"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=854"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.egeve.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=854"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}